HELLO?!?!? CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!

Let it be known that I am by no means a tech savvy guy. I know what you’re all thinking - that because I have an unsuccessful blog, I must know my way around gigabytes, motherboards, and hard drives. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Hell, even video games confuse me most of the time. Having said that, there is one piece of technology that I have mastered, or at least become comfortable with: the cellular telephone.

I recently got off a call with my mom, who is truly the inspiration behind this blog. She’s one of those who feel that while listening to someone speak on the cell phone, the phone clearly has to be next to your ear. But when it’s your time to speak, there’s no way that the person on the other end of the line can hear you unless you put the speaker right next to your mouth, and follow it up by some solid shouting… just to make sure they can hear you.

Often times she’s in areas that don’t have optimal service. On those occasions that I can’t understand what she’s saying because the line keeps on going in and out, the obvious answer, according to mom, is to speak louder and louder - Because clearly, the problem is the volume, which is easily resolved if only you try to deafen the person on the other line.

Then you have the old school callers, who feel that the distance of the person on the other end of the line plays a big role on how loudly you need to speak. My fiancées grandmother, for instance, feels that when she makes calls to family in the old country, the only way for her voice to be heard is to speak louder. Otherwise, how the hell would her voice be able to carry across the entire Atlantic?

There are crazies out there who think that using a cell phone excessively will lead to brain tumors, and what have you. While I think that that’s a bit excessive, I definitely think that our hearing will eventually suffer. Seems to me that the older the person you’re speaking to, the higher the likelihood of going deaf at an early age.

Looks like it’s time to teach mom how to text.



- Jack Asher