Wanted: A band that is one decent guitarist short of blowing peoples minds!

Once upon a time… I was in a band. In fact, I was in a few bands. There was the first high school band of which I have fond memories, but won’t go into detail due to some embarrassment that I haven’t managed to get past (we covered the song “Barracuda”, by Heart). Then there was the next high school band, Envy Overcome – which was an amazing mix of hard rock and punk, and featured me as the lead guitarist. Finally, there was the Johnny Mazcko band when I was a sophomore in college. Decent band, but not really my style.

Let’s talk about Envy Overcome for just a second – this was really the only taste of rocking out that I’ve had thus far. We played several shows, and had a pretty decent following. Well, as decent of a following as you can expect in high school. I even got flashed once while playing a show. Unfortunately – the flasher wasn’t exactly model material – but it’s the thought that counts.



I digress.

I miss that feeling of being up on a stage, playing badass music in front of large groups – having some dude throw on the strobe-lights when I’m in the middle of a solo, and being the object of so many women’s attention. Just kidding Wifey, just kidding.

So here's a message to all those bands out there who are besides themselves in regret over not having the right guitarist...

Just cause I haven’t been in a band since 2004, doesn’t mean that I don’t still have my mediocre chops. I still pick up the ole’ six string as often as I can, and rock out some of our old tunes. For any of you bands out there that are just one guitarist short – please note that I’m available on weekdays from 5:30 until 10:00PM. On the weekends it really kind of depends on what Wifey and I are doing, I’ll probably want to check with her before making any plans.

I know I haven’t played in a while – and that’s why I think it’s important to take note of the following skills I have. I really think that these skills could edge me ahead of the other guitarists you may be looking at:

1. Impeccable Hygiene
2. Can juggle – but only 3 items of similar shapes and sizes
3. I’m learning how to cook
4. Super fast reader – if anyone needs a book report done in a timely manner – I’m your guy!
5. I’m a great listener.

Now, I know that I’m probably not the best guitarist you’ve ever seen. But when you combine my decent guitar style with these other skills, which I believe are equally important, I think it should make your choice pretty easy.



- Jack Asher