What's that Mr. boss? You said that I aced my review, AND I'm a valuable asset to this company?

Ok Ashton Kutcher, you can come out now. I mean, clearly I’m being ‘Punked’, right? There’s no way that that just happened in real life.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a fairly hard worker. I do my job to the best of my ability (in between blogs), and I’m always the last one in the office and the first one to leave – but to get this amount of praise from my boss was just plain unexpected.

Listen – I’ve whined about my job on this blog often enough that you know that it’s not exactly a match made in heaven. I’ve complained about the co-workers, I’ve cried about my job duties, so it shouldn’t be any wonder that I don’t always put 150% of myself into this job. Which I absolutely don’t do. Ever.

So when I got the memo about going upstairs to meet with the boss for a review, naturally I was a little nervous. It couldn’t have gone any more differently than what I expected. Here’s a synopsis:


Boss: So Jack, before we get started here, you tell me how you think you’ve done here so far, and what needs improvement.

Jack: Well, um, Sir… I’ve definitely learned a lot since I started a few months ago, and I definitely feel like I’m still learning as I’m going forward. Although my numbers aren’t where I’d like them to be, I’m definitely making progress, and I’m very confident that the next quarter will be much more successful.

Boss: Whatchyou talkin’ about Willis?! You’re doing a fantastic job! In fact, I think I’m going to give you a raise, and an office. Why the hell not? You should by all means keep doing EXACTLY what you’re doing – blog writing during work hours and all.

-Verbatim. Well, not really.

But honestly – I was being praised in that office like Kobayashi at a Nathan’s. It was surreal.



Next stop, the corner office. Or the next blog. Whichever comes first.


- Jack Asher