While the video games get better and better, and our appliances get smaller and smaller, let's not forget that we had a good idea that we were heading in this direction. Oh yes, the signs were all around us, my friends....
What we expected: Rosie - The maid from The Jetsons
What we got: iRobot - vacuum cleaner
VERDICT: Job Well Done
Good job scientists... not only have you found a way to make a robot clean our house, but you had the foresight to make it incapable of talking back to it's owners! Even if these guys did put a voice to the iRobot, I'm sure they would have had the decency not to use Joan Rivers' voice for the damn thing. Back off Rosie! You're being replaced by a more compact, more respectful, maid.
What we expected: Alf - The lovable 80's Alien
What we got: A Puggle - a crossbreed of a Pug and a Beagle
Verdict: Keep Working On It
While breeders everywhere are trying to make a perfect puppy, they have missed the mark if they were indeed going for the "Alf" look (as they no doubt were going for). While this Puggle is on the right track, it's missing some of the defining features that make Alf, Alf. Get some sunglasses on this puppy, and perhaps a Hawaiian shirt, and we're well on our way.
What we expected: The Light Saber
What we got: The Laser Pointer
VERDICT: Sorry Nerds, Not Even Close
I mean, honestly... what did you expect? Granted we've seem some pretty wicked weapons being created since Star Wars came out, the light saber was not really a feasible idea, and quite honestly, I wouldn't think it'd even be that great in warfare. The light saber only has a reach of maybe, 5 feet at most... how often do you think our military engages in hand-to-hand combat these days?
For now, I guess you crazy kids will have to be content playing Chewbacca vs. Darth Vader in the backyard with sticks. May the force be with you, losers.
What we expected:
HAL - The murderous computer from "2001: A Space Odyssey"
and
Aria - The Killer computer system from "Eagle Eye"
What we got: TomTom - The murderous computer (GPS) of today.
VERDICT: You Did It!
I don't care what people say about TomTom, Garmin, or any of those other GPS systems... these things are evil incarnate! You tell me to turn left 20 feet before the turn, while I'm going 75mph on the highway? If that's not a computer trying to kill me, I don't know what is. Honestly, I'd like to see the Department of Transportation do a study on how often accidents are directly attributed to following the instructions of a GPS. Convenient you say? To you sir, I say deadly.
What we expected: Doctor Browns Time Machine in "Back To The Future"
What we got: A real DeLorean circa 1982
VERDICT: Geeks Everywhere, Rejoice!
OK, So this DeLorean can't fly, and can't take you to the past or future. So what!?! Strap a few pieces of cardboard to the trunk and use your little brothers slingshot as the flux capacitor, and you've got yourself a bonafide, doc-approved, time machine. But buyers beware... where you're going, you will most definitely need roads. - bring jumper cables just in case going 88 miles per hour turns out to be more difficult than planned.
So, in conclusion, yes - technology has changed dramatically since the 70's, the 80's and is still changing today. New inventions are popping up left and right these days, but are the inventions of today really so different than the dreams of yesterday? I submit to you that they are not. All we needed were a few good movies and T.V. shows to lead the way.
- Jack Asher
As a side note, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my sister Sara for being a fantastic proofreader, and for being there for me to bounce ideas off of. Thank you for all the help.
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