All right, I am definitely aware that this story is old news by now. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry out there with a computer or TV knows about Telly’s ‘accident’ with his trainer.
This tragedy has caused me to think about other similar fatalities when man thinks it can tame beast. I think there’s a valuable lesson to be learned here… you want to play with an animal? Get a puppy.
2003: Sigfried and Roy
I’m no wildlife biologist or anything, but my guess is that if you make a friggin’ tiger jump through flaming hoops, you’re just asking for this one. I’m sure it didn’t help that their hairstyles were straight from the 80’s. Some dude with a mullet and a spray-tan tells me to balance on a ball, I’m bound to maul his ass too. 2006: Steve Erwin
The Croc Hunter gets killed by a sting ray. Nobody saw this coming. Guy spends the majority of his life playing with poisonous snakes and putting his head in crocodile’s jaws, and he dies while snorkeling? That’s just crazy. Of course, we know where the story goes from here…. Thousands of college students being a dead Steve Erwin for Halloween, and those who weren’t clever enough to think of it saying “too soon, man”.
2009: Celebrity Chimp Mauls Woman in Connecticut
I’ve got mixed feelings on this one. On one hand, the chimp is as cute as a button. I mean, look at it! Who wouldn’t want to play with a monkey? On the other hand, it’s a pretty well known fact that monkeys have near super-human strength - Might not one to mess with it. It’s also a well known fact that they like throwing their own feces for fun, but who am I to judge?
Point and case… if you want to play with a wild animal, that’s your call, but don’t be surprised when Shamu eats you.
In related news: SeaWorld, in attempt to bring back there frightened customers, are lobbying to change the name of the well known Orca from “Killer Whale” to “Snuggly Whale”
- Jack Asher
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