As I sit here watching President Obama's approval rating plummet, I think to myself, could this have been preventable? It's been my experience that even in the most dire of situations, a little laughter goes a long way; a strategy that President Obama clearly agrees with, given his presidential State of the Union last week. But even with his well placed jokes - the division between the aisle was as clear as ever - but fret no more, Mr. President, I'm here to help.
Dear Mr. President,
I, like millions of other Americans, was glued to my TV last Wednesday to watch you speak about the issues our great nation is facing right now. On one hand, a congratulations in is order - you spoke clearly and decisively on policies that should come to be during your administrations reign, to help America maintain its status as a world leader - from the fines on big banks, to tossing out the "don't ask don't tell" policy, and maintaining that there still needs to be reform in our health care system - your stance was both strong and passionate. On these political issues, all I can say is, Bravo sir.
There is, however, an area that can use a little improvement from where I sit, sir. I couldn't help but notice, sir, that you were making a few jokes at the podium - clearly an attempt to ease the tension. While I certainly got a kick out of some of these jokes, as did parts of congress - I honestly think that this aspect of your address came up a little weak, and I mean that with the utmost respect, Mr. President.
I, like millions of other Americans, was glued to my TV last Wednesday to watch you speak about the issues our great nation is facing right now. On one hand, a congratulations in is order - you spoke clearly and decisively on policies that should come to be during your administrations reign, to help America maintain its status as a world leader - from the fines on big banks, to tossing out the "don't ask don't tell" policy, and maintaining that there still needs to be reform in our health care system - your stance was both strong and passionate. On these political issues, all I can say is, Bravo sir.
There is, however, an area that can use a little improvement from where I sit, sir. I couldn't help but notice, sir, that you were making a few jokes at the podium - clearly an attempt to ease the tension. While I certainly got a kick out of some of these jokes, as did parts of congress - I honestly think that this aspect of your address came up a little weak, and I mean that with the utmost respect, Mr. President.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2u-uMF7AOM
Let me suggest, your eminence, that you take me on as a staff writer. Sure, leave all the talk about policy to your current writers - but I can promise you that your jokes will never fall on deaf ears again. That's right, when I'm done, the left side of the aisle, and the right, will be so smitten by you're charm and humor, that they'll sing any legislature you put in front of them, like the yes-men they're supposed to be. Here are a few suggestions for you to test out...
- You are in a unique position, one that no other president has found themselves in before. I'm not sure if you're aware of this sir, but you're black. Do you have any idea how many doors this opens for you?!? A white guy such as myself could never attempt a black joke in public without being accused of being racist. Just picture Richard Nixon at the podium asking congress, "What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza...?" - It just would never work! But you sir, if you threw in a black joke to begin the state of the state of the union, you would surely gain the respect of all those leaders who appreciate a good black joke - but could never say it aloud due to the political risk.
- Make a joke at the first lady's expense. Sure, the self-effacing jokes work once in a while - but what are the real costs of such a joke? While it gets a few laughs out of congress - this type of joke simply undermines you and your role as the leader of the free world. By making fun of the first lady, you're not attacking the republicans or democrats in the room, and not weakening your own position. Michelle's a great target for a laugh because it doesn't alienate anyone - well, except for Michelle, of course. May I also suggest some flowers for the first lady to be given as an apology shortly after the speech? If I know the first lady, and I'm pretty sure do, I think she'll understand that this situation was in the best interest of our nation.
- Finally, Mr. President, I suggest that you alleviate the heavy hearts of congress, and of Americans everywhere by making light of some of the burdens we're facing. No one wants to be reminded that we're facing a national deficit that will most likely effect our children and grandchildren - and it certainly won't help in bringing any congressmen to a case of the giggles. Perhaps draw a comparison between the current state, and something, much, much worse. Try this on for size:
"The deficit may be bad, but at least we don't have a 3rd term with 'W'."
So, Sir, I ask you to think about this offer carefully. It's not every day that you get something completely unqualified to join your writing staff. All I ask in return, Sir, is fair compensation, and that you refer to me as your "homie".
Respectfully yours,
- Jack Asher
Let me suggest, your eminence, that you take me on as a staff writer. Sure, leave all the talk about policy to your current writers - but I can promise you that your jokes will never fall on deaf ears again. That's right, when I'm done, the left side of the aisle, and the right, will be so smitten by you're charm and humor, that they'll sing any legislature you put in front of them, like the yes-men they're supposed to be. Here are a few suggestions for you to test out...
- You are in a unique position, one that no other president has found themselves in before. I'm not sure if you're aware of this sir, but you're black. Do you have any idea how many doors this opens for you?!? A white guy such as myself could never attempt a black joke in public without being accused of being racist. Just picture Richard Nixon at the podium asking congress, "What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza...?" - It just would never work! But you sir, if you threw in a black joke to begin the state of the state of the union, you would surely gain the respect of all those leaders who appreciate a good black joke - but could never say it aloud due to the political risk.
- Make a joke at the first lady's expense. Sure, the self-effacing jokes work once in a while - but what are the real costs of such a joke? While it gets a few laughs out of congress - this type of joke simply undermines you and your role as the leader of the free world. By making fun of the first lady, you're not attacking the republicans or democrats in the room, and not weakening your own position. Michelle's a great target for a laugh because it doesn't alienate anyone - well, except for Michelle, of course. May I also suggest some flowers for the first lady to be given as an apology shortly after the speech? If I know the first lady, and I'm pretty sure do, I think she'll understand that this situation was in the best interest of our nation.
- Finally, Mr. President, I suggest that you alleviate the heavy hearts of congress, and of Americans everywhere by making light of some of the burdens we're facing. No one wants to be reminded that we're facing a national deficit that will most likely effect our children and grandchildren - and it certainly won't help in bringing any congressmen to a case of the giggles. Perhaps draw a comparison between the current state, and something, much, much worse. Try this on for size:
"The deficit may be bad, but at least we don't have a 3rd term with 'W'."
So, Sir, I ask you to think about this offer carefully. It's not every day that you get something completely unqualified to join your writing staff. All I ask in return, Sir, is fair compensation, and that you refer to me as your "homie".
Respectfully yours,
- Jack Asher
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