My sister desperately wants to get married... it's borderline scary how badly she wants it. And, to be quite honest, I don't think she's too far away of dragging her boyfriend to the altar, or Chuppah, as we Jews call it.
This post really isn't about my sister though, it's all about me, as it should be.
This sister and I happen to be very close. In fact, I'd go as far to say that she's one of my best friends. She's a great drinking buddy, and, well... she's just a fantastic drinking buddy.
It is for this reason, that I want to be the Man of Honor, or M.O.H. at her wedding.
Hear me out - not only would I be a fantastic M.O.H. for reasons I'll get into shortly, but this would solve a huge issue in her wedding planning. Since there are 4 other sisters in the family, it would be unfair for her to choose one of those sisters over another. I'm the black sheep in the family! By picking me as the M.O.H., she would avoid the potential family feud that might ensue.
But there are several other reasons that I would be a fantastic M.O.H. For instance, I'm just more fun that anyone else she knows, plain and simple.
Even if she chose a M.O.H. from outside the family... I've met most of her friends, and I'm definitely more fun that all of them combined! Think about it. The wedding shower? I'd be great at setting this up! I love entertaining, and I can surely be trusted to put something together that is both classy, and fun.
Perhaps I would hire a Mariachi band as the entertainment - and I'm just thinking out loud here. Nothing spells class and entertainment like sombrero wearing musicians playing over sized guitars.
There might be an issue with the bachelorette party, being as how I refuse to hire male strippers or allowing drunken men to get anywhere near my drunken sister. But hey, I can still have a good time. Hell, I might even enlist one of her friends for this, so that I don't have to be witness to the debauchery, and she can still have a good time. I'm totally flexible, as a good M.O.H. should be.
And as a final point, I'd like to point out that one of the major responsibilities of the M.O.H. is to make a toast at the wedding itself. THAT IS TOTALLY IN MY WHEELHOUSE!!!!! I mean, the perfect toast is funny, but endearing - it's charming, but not conceited. Put me in coach, I'm ready!!!
There is one condition, however, for me being the M.O.H. The wardrobe needs to be addressed. Typically, the M.O.H. will wear the same dress as the rest of the bridesmaids. Well, good luck getting me into a dress – not with these skinny legs of mine. But then, I can't just wear what the groomsmen are wearing either, cause then people won't understand the gravity of my role as the M.O.H. I think that I should wear a similar tux as the groomsmen, but different enough for people to know what’s up.
How about….
- Jack Asher
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